What are “Mom jeans”?: Butt in the Front

by beth on June 13, 2009

Some­one just asked me: what are “Mom jeans?” (in my post Van Shop­ping). For those not in the know. “Mom jeans” are jeans that give you not 1 but 2 butts, tushes, rear-ends. You get 1 in the back, the 1 that is sup­posed to be there, & then you get a bonus butt that is right in the front. Yes, in “Mom jeans” you have a butt in the front. It’s not sup­posed to be there, but there it is the look of an extra butt.

It some­times hap­pens by mis­take. You think you have a pair of jeans that’s pretty hot so you put them on. They are from pre-preggo days & last time you wore them you felt like a total hot­tie. Only now when you try to slide into them you are con­fronted with a stark real­ity. You find out that after kids things have some­how moved or shifted to places you never expected & don’t even seem pos­si­ble. You put on the once hot jeans to find out you are look­ing like you are putting on “Mom jeans”. It’s a shock, a hor­rific expe­ri­ence really & it causes some to try to act like noth­ing has hap­pened. Out they walk in the “Mom jeans.”

Other times it hap­pens because you try to find jeans to tuck in (that’s right, tuck in) the extra skin, weight, or sag that has been given to us as a nifty gift from preg­nancy. I know, not a pretty image but let’s be hon­est we’ve all been there. We’ve all stared at our changed fig­ures after birth won­der­ing how to deal with the shifts. We don’t want it hang­ing out and there is the urge to tuck it in. With this pair of jeans you go into the chang­ing room, think­ing this pair will work if I just sort of tuck in the extra skin. No one will notice it or so we tell our­selves. In a des­per­ate effort to hide this pouch you leave hav­ing bought jeans that pull up over the pouch. The whole time pray­ing no one notices it because we can’t believe we have actu­ally done the “pull & tuck.” Yet, this does not hide it but only draws more atten­tion to it.

Then there are just bad jeans that make even a per­fectly taught hot-bod looks like she’s strikin’ a pose in the “Mom jeans.” Think circa 1993. Seri­ously, what was up with those jeans? These jeans are just bad all around and should be burned en masse because if a size 0 with a per­fect fig­ure looks like she has 2 butts in it, how the hell I’m I going to ever pull them off?

Any­way, I hope this helps clear up the mys­tery. It’s one of things that seems to get left out of all those becom­ing a mom books out there. Yet, it is very impor­tant to the well-being of moms around the world. Take it from some­one who’s been there & trust me I have.

And please remem­ber friends don’t let friends wear “Mom jeans”.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 beth June 14, 2009 at 1:18 am

it's tragic what happens to us after giving birth, isn't it? not only do our bodies change for the worse, we lose our ability to determine if we are wearing bad pants! saw your post on sits. welcome!

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2 confused homemaker June 14, 2009 at 4:30 pm

thanks for visiting! and it really tragic.

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3 Zeemaid June 28, 2009 at 1:30 am

sigh… unfortunately there is no where else for it to go… it has to tuck. Forget bout tucking shirts in ever again.

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