Last night I was in the groove lecturing. Durkheim, Marx, & Weber, you got it. Material versus Non-material Culture, done. Discussion on how to present self in a social interaction, here ya go! My left breast deciding to grow 3 times its normal size, BAM. Oh, wait. No she didn’t. Yes, yes she did. My left breast decided to grow 3 FREAKING sizes during the end of my lecture. She hates me.
My left breast is out to cause me total humiliation. Forget falling down in front of the class; instead, it was like I had a chia-pet on my chest. As it was growing I could feel the pressure of breastmilk building up. That pressure is unmistakable. I figured Ok, I can get through this. I’ve got breast pads on. I mean they have the adhesive stickies on the back, I’m golden. No problems. Then it happened, near the end of the lecture, my breast pad on my left side had shifted.
I began to LEAK. YES, LEAK!
All I kept thinking was “OH ALL THE ANGELS AND SAINTS IN HEAVEN, PLEASE HELP ME!!”
Then the “WHY, WHY, WHY ME????”
As I apparently didn’t begin to pray soon enough I could feel a light spot begin to form on my shirt. Made all the more uncomfortable by the student who noticed instantly and was staring with the WIDEST EYES EVER!! I think that student will NEVER be the same again. Needless to say that the end of lecture was wrapped up quickly. I’m pretty sure the students that noticed got a lesson the presentation of self that I had NEVER hoped to give. And as for my left breast, she’s on notice.