Ch-Ch-Chia Breast

by beth on January 26, 2010

breast pads

Last night I was in the groove lec­tur­ing. Durkheim, Marx, & Weber, you got it. Mate­r­ial ver­sus Non-material Cul­ture, done. Dis­cus­sion on how to present self in a social inter­ac­tion, here ya go! My left breast decid­ing to grow 3 times its nor­mal size, BAM. Oh, wait. No she didn’t. Yes, yes she did. My left breast decided to grow 3 FREAKING sizes dur­ing the end of my lec­ture. She hates me.

My left breast is out to cause me total humil­i­a­tion. For­get falling down in front of the class; instead, it was like I had a chia-pet on my chest. As it was grow­ing I could feel the pres­sure of breast­milk build­ing up. That pres­sure is unmis­tak­able. I fig­ured Ok, I can get through this. I’ve got breast pads on. I mean they have the adhe­sive stick­ies on the back, I’m golden. No prob­lems. Then it hap­pened, near the end of the lec­ture, my breast pad on my left side had shifted.

I began to LEAK. YES, LEAK!

All I kept think­ing was “OH ALL THE ANGELS AND SAINTS IN HEAVEN, PLEASE HELP ME!!”

Then the “WHY, WHY, WHY ME????”

As I appar­ently didn’t begin to pray soon enough I could feel a light spot begin to form on my shirt. Made all the more uncom­fort­able by the stu­dent who noticed instantly and was star­ing with the WIDEST EYES EVER!! I think that stu­dent will NEVER be the same again. Need­less to say that the end of lec­ture was wrapped up quickly. I’m pretty sure the stu­dents that noticed got a les­son the pre­sen­ta­tion of self that I had NEVER hoped to give. And as for my left breast, she’s on notice.

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Shannon January 26, 2010 at 8:05 am

Ohhhhhh nooooo! I remember those days…but never in front of a lecture! Yeow! Let’s hope the right one doesn’t catch on! :) Stopping by from SITS.

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2 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:02 pm

If the right one catches on then I’m doomed :)

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3 Jules January 26, 2010 at 9:19 am

Oh No! I think that has happened to all of us at some point. Just not in front of a crowd…..

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4 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Yes, this was the first time in front of a live audience.

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5 Theta Mom January 26, 2010 at 9:26 am

No way!!! And in front of the class…Sounds like you handled it well. You’ll laugh about this in years to come!

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6 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Way!! I *think* I handled it well, I guess I’ll see next week.

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7 Eve January 26, 2010 at 9:31 am

too funny! I’m sorry to laugh at you but it IS funny. Just reading that reminded me of that well known feeling of milk coming in, breast hardening… yup. Crazy.

At least you got the students attention, right? x

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8 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:04 pm

It’s OK laugh away, I figured if I can’t laugh at it then I’m really in trouble.

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9 Michelle January 26, 2010 at 10:13 am

Oh man I’ve had that happen before (many times!) at work but I was luckily able to save myself before anyone noticed. I feel for you!! I would probably be so mortified if it happened in front of a bunch of people!

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10 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Yea, usually it’s one of those things I can catch in time but this time not so much.

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11 Shana Putnam January 26, 2010 at 11:43 am

Oh I did that in church. I am so sorry, isn’t it embarrassing? Well, life is just like that. Sorry though.

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12 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Life is like that–full of those moments we cringe at but have to laugh at too!

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13 Obnoxious SAHM January 26, 2010 at 11:48 am

OMG you poor thing!

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14 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:05 pm

It could have been worse, like the start of class & both :0

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15 KellieS January 26, 2010 at 12:15 pm

I found that if you cross your arms in front of your boobs, squeeze hard, and pray, the milk doesn’t let down. The trick is doing it right when you feel the “mama call of duty”. I stopped wearing the pads some time ago.

Feeling for you…

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16 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I’ve tried that but I’ve been blessed (or cursed depending on the day) with an overly abundant supply, pressure on them actually causes more of a volcanic eruption ;)

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17 This Mama Works It! January 26, 2010 at 12:32 pm

OMIGOSH I have been there!! I remember those days very clearly. And there is no mistaken the feeling of the “let down”. I remember using breast pads and extra tissues for the right one. That one was always on heavy watch.

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18 beth January 26, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Yes, that “let down” feeling is something you just know & this time there was no time between the feeling & the actual let down. I think heavy watch is in order here as well.

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19 Working Mommy January 26, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Oh jeez!! How embarrassing!! I never did get to breastfeed, but I remember that heavy feeling…it was oh so painful!

~WM

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20 Tina Joy January 26, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Oh No!!!! You poor thing! That one is for the books. You’ll laugh about this in the future, right?

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21 faemom January 26, 2010 at 4:48 pm

As I read this I kept yelling in my head, “Oh dear, God, NO! Oh, dear God, NO!” I’m curious to see who swtiches seats or never comes back to your class again.

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22 Ameya January 27, 2010 at 2:29 pm

AWW!! man, that sucks so hard, hahaha.

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23 Crystal January 30, 2010 at 11:32 am

Hahaha, You are so FUNNY!!!! I’m definitely following You now. Love your sense of humor. And HOW embarrassing!!!!!
Happy Sharefest sat.

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