If we are good women who support the “sisterhood” and want to get ahead in this world we should ALL be nice ALL the time & disagreeing is NOT nice.
Or at least that’s seems to be the unspoken rule.
Even as adult women we should act as if we are still all on the playground trying to make everyone like us. It’s the same thing researchers have shown for younger girls when they are picking teams for games on the school playground. Girls pick their friends to be on teams, even if their friends aren’t very good, they try to please everyone and don’t criticize or disagree with any girl in public that’s rude. She might not invite you to her totally awesome rollerskating party (what? that *could* happen. TRUST ME, IT COULD!).
Instead nice girls should be all-out rotten behind the other girl’s back because they didn’t stand up & be themselves in the actual situation.
It’s like manners ala The Countess Luann on Real Housewives New York. What I’d like to call the nice-girl syndrome. Present yourself as really nice, but then don’t actually act all that respectful to others.
For example, taken from watching The Countess: If you can’t say anything nice, say something passive aggressive to the person’s face and then say the really nasty stuff on camera, you know behind the other person’s back, so you can try to deny it was meant that way later. You know, because they *shockingly* FOUND OUT given it was on camera and all.
Because nice girls go with the flow, they aren’t there to offer real criticism or food for thought, but are there simply to make everyone happy, never frown & shoot rainbows outta their vaginas when others are looking. OK, the last part I might be making up.
But I do think the vagina factor comes into play. Because we all have vaginas somehow we are all going to agree in public. It’s the power of the vagina! It magically makes all us lady folks lose our ability to be reasonable & exchange real dialogue. Instead we are supposed to only exchange vaginally laced rainbows, which may really be just an illusion to the eye. (And yes, I think I could say that *word* ONE.MORE.TIME. My mother is now blushing).
But here’s the not so hidden secret.…
Wait for it.…
Women aren’t always going to agree. I know, what a shocker!! We are unique beings who disagree. But disagreement isn’t the same as attacking. It’s not the nice-girl syndrome ala The Countess. It’s not being passive-aggressive or waiting until the person’s out of ear shot to say something.
We little ladies who can occasionally get uppity can talk and disagree without it being the END OF THE WORLD, LIKE OMG! Until we can handle real conversations about disagreement we aren’t really a sisterhood. ‘Cuz I’ve seen sisters, they don’t all agree. Come on sisters–tell me–you don’t all agree now do ya?
See, not even real sisters always agree. Which means that the rest of us aren’t always going to either. AND that’s a good thing. We can disagree and offer real change in this world by being real.
Now don’t anyone dare criticize me in my comments section or I will cry. No seriously, I will. I’m not kidding. Because today I’m only shooting rainbows.
And now how many of you might never look at a rainbow the same way again?