Shooting Rainbows

If we are good women who sup­port the “sis­ter­hood” and want to get ahead in this world we should ALL be nice ALL the time & dis­agree­ing is NOT nice.

Or at least that’s seems to be the unspo­ken rule.

Even as adult women we should act as if we are still all on the play­ground try­ing to make every­one like us.  It’s the same thing researchers have shown for younger girls when they are pick­ing teams for games on the school play­ground.   Girls pick their friends to be on teams, even if their friends aren’t very good,  they try to please every­one and don’t crit­i­cize or dis­agree with any girl in pub­lic that’s rude.  She might not invite you to her totally awe­some roller­skat­ing party (what? that *could* hap­pen. TRUST ME, IT COULD!).

Instead nice girls should be all-out rot­ten behind the other girl’s back because they didn’t stand up & be them­selves in the actual situation.

It’s like man­ners ala The Count­ess Luann on Real House­wives New York.  What I’d like to call the nice-girl syn­drome.   Present your­self as really nice, but then don’t actu­ally act all that respect­ful to others.

For exam­ple, taken from watch­ing The Count­ess: If you can’t say any­thing nice, say some­thing pas­sive aggres­sive to the person’s face and then say the really nasty stuff on cam­era, you know behind the other person’s back, so you can try to deny it was meant that way later. You know, because they *shock­ingly* FOUND OUT given it was on cam­era and all.

Why?

Because nice girls go with the flow, they aren’t there to offer real crit­i­cism or food for thought, but are there sim­ply to make every­one happy, never frown & shoot rain­bows outta their vagi­nas when oth­ers are look­ing. OK, the last part I might be mak­ing up.

But I do think the vagina fac­tor comes into play.  Because we all have vagi­nas some­how we are all going to agree in pub­lic.  It’s the power of the vagina!  It mag­i­cally makes all us lady folks lose our abil­ity to be rea­son­able & exchange real dia­logue.  Instead we are sup­posed to only exchange vagi­nally laced rain­bows, which may really be just an illu­sion to the eye.  (And yes, I think I could say that *word* ONE.MORE.TIME.  My mother is now blushing).

But here’s the not so hid­den secret.…

Wait for it.…

Women aren’t always going to agree. I know, what a shocker!!  We are unique beings who dis­agree. But dis­agree­ment isn’t the same as attack­ing. It’s not the nice-girl syn­drome ala The Count­ess.  It’s not being passive-aggressive or wait­ing until the person’s out of ear shot to say something.

We lit­tle ladies who can occa­sion­ally get uppity can talk and dis­agree with­out it being the END OF THE WORLD, LIKE OMG!   Until we can han­dle real con­ver­sa­tions about dis­agree­ment we aren’t really a sis­ter­hood.   ‘Cuz I’ve seen sis­ters, they don’t all agree.  Come on sisters–tell me–you don’t all agree now do ya?

See, not even real sis­ters always agree.  Which means that the rest of us aren’t always going to either.  AND that’s a good thing.  We can dis­agree and offer real change in this world by being real.

Now don’t any­one dare crit­i­cize me in my com­ments sec­tion or I will cry.  No seri­ously, I will.  I’m not kid­ding. Because today I’m only shoot­ing rainbows.

And now how many of you might never look at a rain­bow the same way again?

Tagged as: nice girls, sisterhood, uppity women, women, writing