1999
Friday came and went. Saturday came and went. I thought that after telling Mike about what Alex said that maybe it was for nothing. I had opened up this big hole in our life by telling him. But I couldn’t NOT tell him, what happened if Alex showed up? I’d have to explain that & I had nothing to keep secret.
So I told him. He was uncomfortable, but not upset. He knew where I stood.
Then Sunday arrived.
The day was almost over, it was late. I was waiting for Mike to come home & the phone rang. I thought it was him, he was calling on his way home. I answered it.
It wasn’t Mike.
“I’m outside.”
Alex said it so plainly, so matter of fact. How do challenge a fact when you don’t know what it really means?
I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m inside. Guess you know that, since you called me. How come you’re calling me?”
Duh, I knew the answer. Why, why, why do I ask questions that I don’t want to know the answer too. Hadn’t I learned ANYTHING?!
“I’m leaving tonight. Have you thought more about what I said? ”
I was so quiet, I didn’t want to answer that question. My voice felt like it had been sucked from my body. Why was he waiting? Then for some reason I had Richard Marx in my head. Why does my mind always create a soundtrack to every event. Seriously, this is an illness of some sort. It must be. I couldn’t focus on what was happening, but there was Casey Kasem playing Richard Marx of all people in my head. Trust me, Casey even did an intro. Seriously, it’s gotta be an illness WHO THINKS LIKE THIS?
Finally I realized I had to answer. I mean the song is only so long. And I found my voice.
“I am staying here. I’m where I want to be, I love him. I’m happy, I don’t want to leave. I’m sorry Alex, I don’t know what else to really say. I feel bad because you are a really great guy, but I’m not the one.”
He was quiet, then laughed a little.
“I guess you know where you want to be then. I hope we could be friends still, maybe catch up when I’m visiting or whatever.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I hope he knows what he has with you.”
“I think he does, have a safe trip Alex.”
With that, we both knew that even if we talked again, it wasn’t going to be the same. Sometimes that’s the risk of putting yourself out there, you never know the outcome, but there’s no turning back.
As I got off the phone, I heard Mike’s key in the door. He was home. And I was more certain than ever before that my home was with him.
[this is part of my “how I met your father” series]
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[New Post] Could You Play Richard Marx For Me Casey? – via #twitoaster http://theconfusedhomemaker.com/2010/08/…
That really left a lump in my throat. What a lovely sentiment it is, that you’re putting this series together. It will be a lovely hinge to read in your warm & Cosy old age
What was the Richard Marx track? (He’s my childhood MOR guilty pleasure)
It’s been fun to write it out too. I kept hearing Right Here Waiting…I know I’m a dork.
This is just like Twilight! Talk about drama!
Drama yes, but as far as I know no one was undead (right that’s the vampire one?). I’ll have to check on Hubby tonight though. Maybe he’s hiding something
Songs playing in your head??? Reminds me of how my hubby has always wanted his own theme music
I do have theme music as well, doesn’t everybody?
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