I’ve had some very strange dreams lately. I mean VERY.STRANGE.DREAMS. I don’t remember them being like this before, but then again maybe I did and I simply forgot in the afterbirth haze of sleep deprivation.
Case in point.
I woke up the other night in a cold sweat. I was in a panic. After what I had just witnessed in my subconscious I felt pure terror over something I have done many times.
Why because in the dream I went into labor at home. No big deal. I know there are women all over the world who deliver at home with no problems. However, in my dream my husband decided the best way to help me was to go online & look up internet advice.
Fine. Again no big deal. The internet has plenty of resources for home childbirth.
Yet, in my dream I have no idea why NONE of that helpful information was pulled up. Instead my husband, Mike, looks at me & said “I have to go to the hardware store.“
“WHAT!!!! You can NOT leave right now. I am in LABOR. A baby any minute!!”
“I know but I need to get supplies to make a birthing plunger.”
“A WHAT?! What the hell is a birthing plunger & why do I need that?”
“I don’t know. It just says you need one here to help get the baby & afterbirth out.”
“Why? Doesn’t it just come out?”
Mind you, we have 4 kids already!
We’ve done this before.
We know in real life how babies get out into this world. AND I don’t recall ever seeing a birthing plunger at any of my previous deliveries. But this is dream reality & it doesn’t need work like any other sense of reality.
“Beth. It says you need it right here.” He points to the computer screen on his phone. “The internet can NOT be wrong. It’s the internet. It’s always right. I have to go. I will be right back.”
With that my husband got up and ran out the door. And as he rushed out the door in a whirlwind a voice over was heard. Yes my dream had narration. Not any narration by any Joe Schmoe but narration by none other than the Mike Rowe. He is the one who usually narrates my dreams, doesn’t he narrate everyone’s? (What? That’s normal right? OK, maybe not. I blame Discovery Channel TV.)
Anyway, Mike Rowe was explaining in his narrative what was happening up tp that point and what was about to happen next in that calming voice that reviles the calm airplane pilot during turbulence.
All I could think was…
“Everything is going to be alright folks. Just fasten your seat-belts it will be a bumpy ride. We’ll be landing safely in less than an hour.“
And began to wonder how bumpy was this ride with FIVE kids going to be.
Then I woke up & woke my Mike up.
I told him what happened. He couldn’t stop laughing and choked out “Well, Beth it is true. I mean the internet is always right.”
Then I looked at him point blank and said “Mike, there’s going to be FIVE of them. FIVE! What if there is turbulence?”
He stopped laughing and looked me. “Beth, there will be turbulence. We will just have to buckle up and enjoy the ride. Plus, with a birthing plunger in hand what could possibly go wrong?”
And I must admit, he is right.
I mean after all we made it this far & that was before we knew anything about birthing plungers. NOW that we have that knowledge, I’m sure nothing will go wrong.