Pregnancy Dreams: Childbirth with a Plunger

I’ve had some very strange dreams lately. I mean VERY.STRANGE.DREAMS. I don’t remem­ber them being like this before, but then again maybe I did and I sim­ply for­got in the after­birth haze of sleep deprivation.

Case in point.

I woke up the other night in a cold sweat. I was in a panic. After what I had just wit­nessed in my sub­con­scious I felt pure ter­ror over some­thing I have done many times.

Over child­birth.

Why because in the dream I went into labor at home. No big deal. I know there are women all over the world who deliver at home with no prob­lems. How­ever, in my dream my hus­band decided the best way to help me was to go online & look up inter­net advice.

Fine. Again no big deal. The inter­net has plenty of resources for home childbirth.

Yet, in my dream I have no idea why NONE of that help­ful infor­ma­tion was pulled up. Instead my hus­band, Mike, looks at me & said “I have to go to the hard­ware store.“

“WHAT!!!! You can NOT leave right now. I am in LABOR. A baby any minute!!”

“I know but I need to get sup­plies to make a birthing plunger.”

“A WHAT?! What the hell is a birthing plunger & why do I need that?”

“I don’t know. It just says you need one here to help get the baby & after­birth out.”

“Why? Doesn’t it just come out?”

Mind you, we have 4 kids already!

We’ve done this before.

We know in real life how babies get out into this world. AND I don’t recall ever see­ing a birthing plunger at any of my pre­vi­ous deliv­er­ies. But this is dream real­ity & it doesn’t need work like any other sense of reality.

“Beth. It says you need it right here.” He points to the com­puter screen on his phone. “The inter­net can NOT be wrong. It’s the inter­net. It’s always right. I have to go. I will be right back.”

With that my hus­band got up and ran out the door. And as he rushed out the door in a whirl­wind a voice over was heard. Yes my dream had nar­ra­tion. Not any nar­ra­tion by any Joe Schmoe but nar­ra­tion by none other than the Mike Rowe. He is the one who usu­ally nar­rates my dreams, doesn’t he nar­rate everyone’s? (What? That’s nor­mal right? OK, maybe not. I blame Dis­cov­ery Chan­nel TV.)

Any­way, Mike Rowe was explain­ing in his nar­ra­tive what was hap­pen­ing up tp that point and what was about to hap­pen next in that calm­ing voice that reviles the calm air­plane pilot dur­ing turbulence.

All I could think was…

“Every­thing is going to be alright folks. Just fas­ten your seat-belts it will be a bumpy ride. We’ll be land­ing safely in less than an hour.“

And began to won­der how bumpy was this ride with FIVE kids going to be.

Then I woke up & woke my Mike up.

I told him what hap­pened. He couldn’t stop laugh­ing and choked out “Well, Beth it is true. I mean the inter­net is always right.”

Then I looked at him point blank and said “Mike, there’s going to be FIVE of them. FIVE! What if there is turbulence?”

He stopped laugh­ing and looked me. “Beth, there will be tur­bu­lence. We will just have to buckle up and enjoy the ride. Plus, with a birthing plunger in hand what could pos­si­bly go wrong?”

And I must admit, he is right.

I mean after all we made it this far & that was before we knew any­thing about birthing plungers. NOW that we have that knowl­edge, I’m sure noth­ing will go wrong.

Tagged as: childbirth, having a baby, Marriage, mike rowe, motherhood, parenting, pregnancy, pregnancy dreams, pregnant