It’s a 1,000 degrees out. I am stuck in prodromal labor. And I am cranky.
As in watch out. Some jokes will not be received well. Such as: waving a chocolate bar anywhere near my lower half in hopes the baby will come out to grab it. Shouting “engage, engage, engage” while I walk. Or teasing me on how “HUGE” I look because maybe the baby will be 100 lbs.
I may just stab you with a fork if you try any of these things. I am blaming it on the heat because hitting the wall is so much harder when you are melting under oppressive heat.
I mean seriously. I am hot, pregnant & overdue now. This is #5! Come on, she should have a freakin’ yellow-brick road to follow that leads her right on out. It’s a proven path.
But maybe she hates this weather more than I do. Maybe my daughter is hoping to bypass heat that is so hot it can cook eggs & bacon on your car. After all it’s hotter than Hades out. In fact, Lucifer called & he wants his weather back. I say good, here ya go. I am done.
Stick a fork in me. I am done.
And I am hoping today’s highs of only early 90s allow for me to get a second wind & convince Baby Girl she wants to come before Momma gives up & just assumes she’ll be that one woman pregnant for the REST.OF.HER.LIFE.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh honey, I feel for you! I know you’re annoyed but I loved this post. Cracked me right up. You’ll have stories for her someday (you know she’ll grow up way too quickly) about she deciding to take her sweet ole time to get here during this crazy heat wave. Still praying for you to have a safe and easy delivery and can’t wait to hear how everything goes.
What a miserable time for you. Those last days of pregnancy are hard enough without it being a bazillion degrees out. Praying that things go well for you both.
This post is too funny! I know just how you feel. My 4th was due last Sept. and decided to torture me through the heat and show up late herself! You’re gonna laugh, but I would actually pop-a-squat in front of a fan and spray myself with a squirt bottle….total bliss!!! Hope your little one decides to make her debut soon!
(hugs) Hang in there!