After four kids have I come to the scientific conclusion that exersaucers are the cause of massive poop explosions. It’s because over the years I’ve been a pawn in an ongoing experiment on the power of exersaucers. Just like with the older rabble-rousers here when they were babies, D-man has succumbed to the power of his exersaucer & is now starting to save his poop explosions for the exersaucer.
The phrase “POOP HAPPENS” doesn’t begin to cover the experience. Maybe a better phrase would be “When the POOP hits the back and the legs and the clothes and Mom too because she forgets & she picks you up before realizing you are covered in POOP EVERY TIME!” You’d think by kid number four I’d have figured this out. It reminds me of what Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
I’m going to claim that sleep deprivation has lead to these moments of temporary insanity when I think that cute smiling face and babbling is about wanting to cuddle & not cover me in poop. YES, THAT’S RIGHT POOP!! Sleep deprivation leading to temporary insanity and the allure of the rays of sunshine that shoot from their smiling faces can be the only explanation for falling for it every time. D-man has figured this out like a pro, using his sunshine to blind me in a haze of adorableness only to “gift” me with his present of poo.
What’s worse is that he laughs when I pick him up. He laughs with a big hearty laugh. It’s like he knows how gross it is & is amused at my horror. Again a smart little man to know that money is in the fart & poop jokes. I’d just prefer it not be me that he uses as part of his comic routine.
I was doing some back reading of articles I bookmarked last week & in my cue was a New York Times article, For Firstborns, Secondhand Fits the Bill. I had bookmarked it to read because I am looking for articles to give my students when school starts back up. I’m trying to find some that deal with how changes in the economy can cause other social changes.
In this article the focus is a supposed increase in frugal choices when shopping for kids. I know the NY Times has a pretty skewed audience, trending toward a higher income & higher educational level. I get there are differences in cultural understandings about money & necessity based on socio-economic class. But PULEEZE if this is what money & education gets us then we are totally screwed on lessons of sensible economics. For example as the article points out that parents who have it “together” have realized this stunning fact:
No longer is it necessary to buy a thousand-dollar changing table in order to prove your parental savvy and breadth of love; if anything, the opposite is true.
I’m not sure anyone in my classes will be able to relate, no matter their age or if they have kids. I know I can’t. Because really a grand?
Is this really a newsflash? I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t think it was EVER necessary to buy a $1,000 changing table. Not unless your kid is going to create literal diamonds on it, which I’m pretty sure is impossible. Rainbows maybe, but diamonds nope. No diamonds then no grand is going to be dropped so I can wipe a tush.
D-man’s almost 4 months old and if he wants to be part of this family I expect him pull his weight around here. There are bills to be paid. If these babies, ala Evian’s youtube commercial, can electric boogaloo on roller stakes then I’m thinking he should get to work.
Momma needs a new pair of shoes little D-man. I wanna see you break down what I gave ya’.
