Posts Tagged ‘PhD’
What NOT to Ask Your Professor
Dear Students,
I wanted to offer you some advice. If you have to ask the following questions be prepared for your professor’s head to explode.
*Do I really have to buy the book?
*Do I have to actually read in this class?
*Do I even have to come to class?
*Can’t you just give us all the answers for the exams?
*Are you, like, even old enough (or aren’t you like REALLY too old) to teach this class?
*Deadlines are kinda hard for me, could these be optional deadlines?
So, word to the wise think these sorts of questions in your head.
Do NOT ask your professor them, prior to the exploding head her/his answers will NOT be ones that you want to hear.
In addition, to answers you never wanted to hear & an exploding head your professor may accidentally lob an eraser in your general direction. I mean how could it not happen? THE PROF’S HEAD JUST EXPLODED!!
And for those wondering, trust me when I tell you that the exploding head thing is not a pretty sight. It also leaves a nasty stain on your clothes.
January 1 2010: New Year, New Decisions
The New Year starts here with Winter in full swing. The trees outside my house are bare with only the Evergreens holding onto the outward signs of life. Life for the other trees is not visible to others but it is there because it is waiting in the silence of the morning, in the business of the day, and in the soft sounds of night to reveal itself in the Spring.
In many ways the hidden nature of the life to come outside my door expresses what I am feeling. I have a lot of decisions to make. I finished my degree, I have it, & now what? I am not so sure anymore. When I started I assumed I’d go for a Tenure Track position and a Research University. I would publish, attend conferences, and teach. The latter I have done even throughout grad school, I’ve done well, & could still create in this capacity regardless of other decisions I make in my life. Yet, I am not sure anymore if academia is my home & I am not sure if it ever really was. But leaving what I thought would come next is not an easy decision. Like um, there are BILLS. A Ph.D. it turns out doesn’t get you much by itself, minus debt.
So, yea it’s a New Year. One full of possibilities, like every new moment. However, looking forward seems less clear to me. I know there is a new life with its roots in my family ready to reveal itself for me, but I also know that I have to met it 1/2 way. Like the joke my Hubby read the other day in our parish bulletin (which I’ve read/heard done a variety of ways).
A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray…
“God, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”.
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Joe again prays…
“God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”.
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck. Once again, he prays…
“My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order … ”
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of GOD himself:
“JOE, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE … BUY A FREAKING TICKET!”
I’ve written here before I love the creative outlet of writing, I love to creative, and I love being with my family. But I am not sure how to decide what the next step is supposed to be. I know I can’t sit around thinking it will happen without effort on my part.
Anyone else ever sit on the edge of a big decision like this? How did you figure out what to do? I could some advice as the year before me stretches out.
It’s Official: Mom, Ph.D.
The other day I arrived in my Department, after feeling that my nerves were going to push me over the edge. That edge where you fall into an abyss of random definitions and information floating around your head but none of it makes ANY SENSE AT ALL!! ALL morning long & by all morning I mean ALL MORNING. Because “the time” had arrived. It was time to defend my dissertation, the long road was ending.
I met with my adviser before the big event started. My adviser gave me great advice, reminding me that I wouldn’t have made it to this point if I wasn’t ready. Darn logical reasoning. Of course my husband had told me the same thing. In fact, he told me about a MILLION times that morning alone. But what does he know? He has to tell me those things, it was in our vows. I believe right after the line that went something to the affect of “And always tell you that your butt looks great in those pants.”
Then it was time to make my way around the hall and into the room. Oh, “the room” that sounds ominous doesn’t it? Like I was on a walk toward the execution chamber, you know “the room.” But it wasn’t that intense. Unless power point is like a slow death.
Then the rest of the committee arrived & there were actually audience members. Which I have to admit was SO WONDERFUL!! To have people from my Department, fellow students, show up to support me was just amazing. Definitely helped put my nerves at ease.
The process itself took about an hour & 1/2. It was pretty smooth. I didn’t throw up, randomly fall over into an abyss of random definitions or information and I didn’t pass out from the sheer magnitude of having to actually sound coherent after not sleeping for the last 2 nights. Thank goodness for kids who decide to NOT sleep right before a big moment like your dissertation defense, eh? What would I have done without that lack of sleep?
My committee did ask challenging questions, but they were fair questions. I was prepared for them, I know my research back & forth, nothing was asked that was too left field even if they did challenge me to push myself further. I can honestly write that I respect my committee immensely & I appreciate the support they gave me throughout the dissertation process.
Except I’m going to admit it was a little anti-climatic when all was said & done. Yea, I finished & it’s official but still I was hoping for something a little bit more. Really, when I think about it a little more, I blame the 80s for the let-down.
See, I was hoping that at some point I would have been forced to show who I was in a dance off. I even thought it out ahead of time. It would start with me being told “You don’t belong here. This place isn’t made to accept people like you.” Then, I’d have to prove them wrong. You know, like Electric Boogaloo style, prove to the world I DO belong. I then would rip off the sleeves of my shirt or my shirt would magically go all off shoulder ala Jennifer Beal in FlashDance & then off stage music would play. As the music starts & my sassy style was front & center I’d express myself in street meets ivory tower dance moves.
But alas that never happened. Instead everyone was nice, I knew my work (I mean after all it’s MY work), and I passed. When I got home I received a balloon & a very lovely card at the front door from my husband and kids, along with lots of hugs & kisses. That did kind of make up for the lack of a dance off. It’s a really nice balloon after all.

What can I say? Except thanks for the love & support, now feel free to call me Dr. Mommy.



