We have had our children in a private Catholic school. I think it’s why my daughter believes every blanket should cover her head like the Virgin Mary, that & the statues around the house. It’s a really great place & seriously she looks adorable with the blanket. However, this year for a variety of reasons we had to make some difficult decisions. I mean really difficult because it would be easier if we didn’t like the people or the school. But darn them for being good & likable! Which is the decision to no longer enroll the kids wasn’t easy, but was a necessary decision.
Part of the process of figuring out what we’d do next has been talking about homeschooling (we also considered other options). Having had the benefit of teaching kids at the college level who were homeschooled & then both of us being able to meet people who are homeschooling families let us think maybe we could do this. I mean not a single person seemed like a Children of the Corn extra, instead they all seemed normal. No one even tried to sacrifice us in some weird cult-like corn ritual. I know, imagine that? Instead we met normal people. Funny, smart & socially comfortable people.
So then we read more about it (not just as a supplement in the summer like we’d been doing but as a way of life), looked at wide range of curriculum, checked the budget again, looked at all sorts of ideas that don’t involve a single curricula & everything else in between. I was relieved to learn I could remain relaxed & still homeschool, color coding & scheduling every second of the day isn’t me. Not that I think it doesn’t work for others, but for me I need to feel that there is flex in my day. The thought of a color coded day laid out that I have to adhere to (even if self-imposed) causes me to break out in hives, the thought of a rhythm in a day is more me & importantly more our family & our kids.
After we talked about it & really spent a long time discerning it we thought this life of homeschooling seemed like something that would work well for our kids, fit well in our lives, & generally be a good experience for us. The kids will also still get to see the other kids from the school because it’s part of the parish we belong to & they can participate in different activities there still.
So yea…
We are officially homeschooling our kids this year.
Hold me.
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Do you ever get the feeling you on a journey that is leading you to somewhere but have no idea where? I feel like there’s something around the corner but I am not sure what that is or what the next step should be. Like I’m standing on the edge of going somewhere. I have been trying to figure this out since the start of the year. I still don’t know, which is crazy because I swear a few weeks ago I thought I KNEW.
I feel like there are so many things that are in flux right this minute.
I thought we had figured out school for the kids next year, only to realize we still don’t know what we are going to do. I thought we had a plan of action for getting ahead, only to realize life happens and when it does your plan changes. I thought I was going to be an academic all my life, only to realize moving a family across country in a job market that doesn’t lend itself to helping secure one job let alone two isn’t going to happen.
Oh, Heck!! I thought I’d just now be finding a husband that I’d fall madly in love with & settling down, only to have found him when I was a freshman in college & now I look out over our four beautiful children.
And the list could on from there, but I will spare you ever single “I thought” because you all do have lives and I could really suck you in for days, maybe even weeks with what I thought would happen but hasn’t.
So, um, yea, I thought a lot of things, only to realize that what I had laid out before me is changing but now we’re getting ready to embrace summer soon and STILL I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!!
In fact, now that I think about it nothing has turned out exactly like I’ve ever thought it would & maybe I’ve never known what I’m doing. That’s not a bad thing, I wouldn’t trade the love I have all around me for the world, just leaves me now wondering what’s next?
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I think over the last year with adding another baby to the mix, working what sometimes feels non-stop & with Hubby & I both trying to finish our graduate degrees I’ve realized a few things. And by the way we both are done now with school! Hubby is an official graduate next month!!! I’m so proud of him for earning his MBA while working full-time, being present for his family & staying sane. And so throughout all this craziness there were 5 things or lessons that I realized.
5 lessons on managing family time & work time.
1. A visual wall calendar.
It turns out that not having a visual calendar to glance up at left us missing appointments, forgetting school schedules and all around losing track of everything that was going on. We both have calendars in our phones, but having the larger week or month ahead to look at on the wall together allows both of us to see what is coming up & what we need to plan ahead for. It also makes it easier to see everyone’s schedules, with 6 people in the family & all our other commitments having this is tremendously helpful. I wish we had this the entire year, we did last year & it was life saver this year we learned the hard way it is still a life saver.
2. Some meal planning.
I’m not one to map out the entire year, month, or even week to the letter with food. However, having a list of go-to meals that were fast & simple to put together really saved time & money. Without a loose meal plan we would be left scrambling for something & that often means picking up food that costs more & isn’t as good as homemade. Even ending up with cereal every night would cost too much & not be as good as homemade. Having a loose meal plan with a few go-to meals & ideas for the week saved us huge headaches & money.
3. Have adult time as a couple.
We can largely thank family for helping watch the kids to let us out among adults after dark. Without their help we’d never have that. But if we didn’t have family we’d have to be more creative to find sitters through the local high school or friends who might have a night a month (even once a month can be a sanity saver) for us to get out. When we are home we also have time for each other after the kids go to bed, we do this every night, making time for each other. We spend that time talking about our days, relaxing and just enjoying each others’ company. Being able to stay connected helped us to face the challenges of the day as a couple & to continue to grow together in love.
4. Have adult time for yourself.
Hard to do but really very necessary. I found that blogging, reading and getting together once in a while with friends for breakfast (even if baby was along for the ride) helped me to refocus my time. I focused on what was good & was able to laugh about what might have gone wrong (like say if you leak breast milk all over yourself during a lecture). My husband had football nights and other times he went out with friends, he also took time to find books he wanted to read. Even if we didn’t get out for hours on end we found ways to have time for self everyday. I realized how true it is to say “without some time for you, you can’t give back to anyone else.”
5. Make the most of family time.
It’s easy when trying to schedule everything & get through the week to forget family time. We realized that unless this, like adult time & time for self, was a priority we’d end up not spending time with the people we were working so hard to make a living for. I mean what’s the point in busting your tush to get to the weekend only to spend it zoned out in front of the T.V. not even talking to each other about what you are watching & realizing you wasted the time to be together as a family? Yes, you are technically “together” but you are not engaged in real family time. Instead, we wanted real family time the kind where you actually talk to each other & get to know each other. We planned trips to the library, did errands with kids in tow (even if it was just one of us taking 2 kids, while the other spent time home with the other 2 kids), had game nights, read books together as a family and if we watched T.V. together we made it an event like family movie night or living room camp out with talking. Making time for family was & is important.
I am sure I will continue to learn more lessons as we figure out how to manage daily life. Heck, even before kids we had to figure out a lot of things. Now it’s just with more people!
So, for you all out there, what are your lessons on managing family & work?
Remember it doesn’t matter if you are stay-at-home, work-at-home, work-out-of-the-home or any combination of these things we all work & we are all trying to manage our days!
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