Mother of Pearl Open the Book

If you are a stu­dent, pay­ing for a course, please for the love of all that is holy in this world open the book. Open it at least once, even if just to look at the pic­tures. The pic­tures are bright & col­or­ful. Even if your instruc­tor is not. You paid for the book, open it.

And as a side note: what­ever you do, don’t tell your instruc­tor that “I had a cool party to go to so that’s why I missed class” or any­thing else along these lines. Instead read the book, go to class for lec­ture and pre­pare your­self. If you don’t show up because you’d rather party don’t tell your instruc­tor because I hate to break it to you she or he does NOT care. Unless they are invited to said party, keep it to your­self. It will make every­one happier.

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My Ghost Writer

Hubby says D-man is like his mother. I think Hubby is just jeal­ous that I have so many back-up writ­ers to help me, because it’s not just D-man who has my back, but if I need it I can always get the elder chil­dren to bust out some mad writ­ing skills. They are my back-ups for blog­ging & when it comes to prep­ping my courses. If only Hubby had this type of help. I mean just look, the kid is even ready to answer any impor­tant calls as they come in on the old Crack­berry. It warms my heart.

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Ch-Ch-Chia Breast

Last night I was in the groove lec­tur­ing. Durkheim, Marx, & Weber, you got it. Mate­r­ial ver­sus Non-material Cul­ture, done. Dis­cus­sion on how to present self in a social inter­ac­tion, here ya go! My left breast decid­ing to grow 3 times its nor­mal size, BAM. Oh, wait. No she didn’t. Yes, yes she did. My left breast decided to grow 3 FREAKING sizes dur­ing the end of my lec­ture. She hates me.

My left breast is out to cause me total humil­i­a­tion. For­get falling down in front of the class; instead, it was like I had a chia-pet on my chest. As it was grow­ing I could feel the pres­sure of breast­milk build­ing up. That pres­sure is unmis­tak­able. I fig­ured Ok, I can get through this. I’ve got breast pads on. I mean they have the adhe­sive stick­ies on the back, I’m golden. No prob­lems. Then it hap­pened, near the end of the lec­ture, my breast pad on my left side had shifted.

I began to LEAK. YES, LEAK!

All I kept think­ing was “OH ALL THE ANGELS AND SAINTS IN HEAVEN, PLEASE HELP ME!!”

Then the “WHY, WHY, WHY ME????”

As I appar­ently didn’t begin to pray soon enough I could feel a light spot begin to form on my shirt. Made all the more uncom­fort­able by the stu­dent who noticed instantly and was star­ing with the WIDEST EYES EVER!! I think that stu­dent will NEVER be the same again. Need­less to say that the end of lec­ture was wrapped up quickly. I’m pretty sure the stu­dents that noticed got a les­son the pre­sen­ta­tion of self that I had NEVER hoped to give. And as for my left breast, she’s on notice.

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The Kick in My Step